Year: 1984? Song: "Killed by Death," by Motorhead I leave for L.A. this week. My to-visit list includes the Whisky, Canter's Deli, and of course, the Rainbow, where I was dearly hoping to run into Lemmy. I was thinking about this plan and, you know, the possibility of us becoming best friends yesterday evening. An hour later, the … Continue reading “I’m a Romantic Adventure and a Reptile Too”: This Is Not a Lemmy Thinkpiece
Year: 1985 Song: "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue There aren't that many things I consider myself an expert on. If pressed for a list, it'd look something like this: Road House, how to make the perfect vodka sauce, and power ballads. Apparently, some guy already wrote a book about power ballads. As much as I'd like to … Continue reading So I Wouldn’t Come Home Low
Year: 1985 Song: "Tears are Falling" by KISS It seems so early to repeat a band, but it's so early to go on a hiatus so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯. HEY. I'm back, and so is Paul Stanley. Two years after taking off the makeup, everyone is looking quite a bit more comfortable, especially Gene, though one still gets the sense … Continue reading “Tears Are Falling”: Song or Design Concept?
Year: 1984 Song: "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions **somewhere in Hollywood, 1984** Bob: We're going to need a good concept with this one, fellas. A real game-changer. Any ideas? Pete: Animals. We definitely need animals. Like a leopard or a panther or something. Ted: How about both? Bob: Both. Obviously. What else? Ted: Women, of course. But like, animal … Continue reading Double, Double Toil and Sing
Year: 1984 Song: "Slow an' Easy," by Whitesnake Yeah, yeah, Whitesnake isn't really hair metal (a conversation that deeply confused a dear friend recently when she asked "which is better, Poison or Whitesnake?"), but David Coverdale has a magnificent head of hair and "Here I Go Again" has become genre iconography. And before Tawny, there was the accidentally … Continue reading Pearls Before Swine
Year: 1984 Song: "Runaway," by Bon Jovi "I hate videos. If you wanted to torture me you'd tie me down and force me to watch our first five videos...The first time we'd just made a record and we were all excited and some a--hole decides we're going to make a video for 'Runaway.' So instead of making … Continue reading When You’re Lost Out There and You’re All Alone, Bon Jovi’s Waiting to Carry You Home
Year: 1984 Song: "We're Not Gonna Take It," by Twisted Sister Confession: I love Dee Snider. I love his curly hair and his radio show and the fact that he's been with his wife forever. Most of all, I love his testimony to the PMRC and the fact that it gave us this, which frankly is so … Continue reading Dee Snider’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Year: 1984 Song: "Round and Round," by Ratt By 1984, we've moved out of the apocalypse and that involves wearing a lot more clothes, because post-apocalyptic wastelands are known for being much hotter than your average mansion, even during a stuffy dinner party. Even when it's hosted by (Ratt's manager's uncle) Milton Berle, and also Milton Berle … Continue reading The Heart Is a Lonely Frontman
Year: 1983 Song: "Looks That Kill," by Mötley Crüe As my friend Dave suggested last time around, the whole scantily-clad-ladies-in-a-wasteland thing was big in 1983. So big, in fact, that maybe it's worth asking what Suzanne Collins was watching on MTV in her formative years. "Looks That Kill" opens with some beautiful theatrical dance fighting as … Continue reading Looks That Kill (The Patriarchy)
Year: 1983 Song: "Lick It Up," by KISS The year was 1983. After 10 years, 50% new members, 10 albums, 4 awkward solo albums, and the even more awkward concept album, Music from "The Elder" (quotes around a thing that wasn't even a thing, for those of you keeping score at home), KISS made the bold move to … Continue reading It Ain’t a Crime to Be Good to Yourself. Or Lick Stuff.