Big Hair Video Lair

Strictly Ballroom

Year: 1984 Song: "Ballroom Blitz," by Krokus The problem with writing about "Ballroom Blitz" is that if you do not specify Krokus in your YouTube search, you get the original by Sweet, which is only a problem because they are so very hypnotic and before you know it, you've spiraled into their entire Top of the [...]

Appetite for Deconstruction

I pondered apologizing for the it's-so-easy title, but I am choosing not to. I'm going to pause in my (slow) chronological study of hair metal videos to pay homage to the 30th anniversary of the release of Appetite for Destruction. Picture it, a record store, anywhere, July 21, 1987: Appetite for Destruction was released to...well, not much. Knowing [...]

You Can Ponder Perpetual Motion

Year: 1984 Song: "Up Around the Bend" by Hanoi Rocks You know this video is going to be good for two reasons: A title sequence presenting the band and song A helicopter See, there's this lawyer, we'll call him Thad, and he's throwing what appears to be quite the party. And he's feeling puh-ritty good about it. [...]

Slippery When Lost

Year: 1984 Song: "She Don't Know Me," by Bon Jovi You look at Jon Bon Jovi, and you think, sure, he's probably at least a fair-to-middling hide-and-seek player. You would be wrong. "She Don't Know Me" is a forgettable song sung in the key of but why DOESN'T this stranger I'm professing to be in love with want to [...]

Smokin’ on Jump Street

Year: 1985 Song: "Smokin' In the Boys' Room" by Motley Crue Confession: I've been avoiding writing about this video. But it's October, a good month to face one's fears or at least scare the crap out of oneself. So here we go. The video begins with some doofus running and falling and dropping all his papers in [...]