Year: 1985 Song: "Miss Mystery" by Black 'N Blue (Apologies for the poor video quality. It was the best I could find, which, frankly, is a disservice to the things that happen in this music film.) Have you ever thought to yourself, man, I wonder what it would have been like if David Lynch had gotten in on … Continue reading Marching to the Beat of Nothing
Author: Amy
Out of the Frying Pan
Year: 1985 Song: "Into the Fire" by Dokken So apparently people are finding this tiny, dusty corner of the internet through some intrepid hair metal googling (HI, THANK YOU, WELCOME) so it's time for me to get off my duff and get back to work. Because when the rockin' gets tough, the tough get ROCKIN' LIKE DOKKEN. … Continue reading Out of the Frying Pan
The It Man
Year: 1985 Song: "Lay It Down" by Ratt Great news, everyone. Since one of 2017's myriad side effects is just, like, clowns being everywhere, it's almost been a kind of exposure therapy, so we get to talk about Ratt's "Lay It Down" in honor of Halloween with minimal screaming. Woo! Aside from the horrifying clown … Continue reading The It Man
Strictly Ballroom
Year: 1984 Song: "Ballroom Blitz," by Krokus The problem with writing about "Ballroom Blitz" is that if you do not specify Krokus in your YouTube search, you get the original by Sweet, which is only a problem because they are so very hypnotic and before you know it, you've spiraled into their entire Top of the … Continue reading Strictly Ballroom
Appetite for Deconstruction
I pondered apologizing for the it's-so-easy title, but I am choosing not to. I'm going to pause in my (slow) chronological study of hair metal videos to pay homage to the 30th anniversary of the release of Appetite for Destruction. Picture it, a record store, anywhere, July 21, 1987: Appetite for Destruction was released to...well, not much. Knowing … Continue reading Appetite for Deconstruction
You Can Ponder Perpetual Motion
Year: 1984 Song: "Up Around the Bend" by Hanoi Rocks You know this video is going to be good for two reasons: A title sequence presenting the band and song A helicopter See, there's this lawyer, we'll call him Thad, and he's throwing what appears to be quite the party. And he's feeling puh-ritty good about it. … Continue reading You Can Ponder Perpetual Motion
Slippery When Lost
Year: 1984 Song: "She Don't Know Me," by Bon Jovi You look at Jon Bon Jovi, and you think, sure, he's probably at least a fair-to-middling hide-and-seek player. You would be wrong. "She Don't Know Me" is a forgettable song sung in the key of but why DOESN'T this stranger I'm professing to be in love with want to … Continue reading Slippery When Lost
Screaming in the Night and Also During Literally All Other Hours
Year: 1983 Song: "Screaming in the Night" by Krokus So this gem was introduced to me via VH1 Classic. The oddity of it all has been written about before but probably not by someone who forgot the band name AND the song title and very nearly had to google "that music video with vikings I think and … Continue reading Screaming in the Night and Also During Literally All Other Hours
It’s the Great Pumpkin, David Coverdale
Year: 1984 Song: "Love Ain't No Stranger" by Whitesnake At first blush, this video is David Coverdale at his most relatable. We've all been there. The leaves are changing, there's a nip in the air, and literally everything is a pumpkin. Halloween is nigh and you and your friends start talking about plans and then it happens: … Continue reading It’s the Great Pumpkin, David Coverdale
Smokin’ on Jump Street
Year: 1985 Song: "Smokin' In the Boys' Room" by Motley Crue Confession: I've been avoiding writing about this video. But it's October, a good month to face one's fears or at least scare the crap out of oneself. So here we go. The video begins with some doofus running and falling and dropping all his papers in … Continue reading Smokin’ on Jump Street
Amy Rossi 